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 Guilt, Regret and Thought.

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Minoushje
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:53 am

"And I always carry my medical equipment." Minoushje said. "Let's go."

Without waiting for a response she jumped in a tree and started traveling in the direction Paige had headed.
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Zen | The Lawyer
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:58 am

Whistling for Lenore, Zen followed.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:29 am

Paige continued to walk, Nena's words swirrling around in her head.

'Is it...can it..really be that easy?' She wondered.

Was she really hurting herself by not saying anything to her friends?

It didn't matter to her, as long as she was the one hurting and not her friends.

Besides, if they knew, what would they think of her?

It wouldn't be the same if they knew. At least, that's what she thought.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:00 pm

Lenore landed on Paige's shelter. A note reading "We're still here for you- no matter what the thing plaguing you is."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:07 pm

Paige read the note and responded.

She sent Lenore back to Zen.

The note read: 'No one would think of me or even treat me the same if they knew.'
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:15 pm

Lenore flew back, another note tied to her leg.

"I highly doubt that is the truth. It'd be hard to make us think ill of you."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:23 pm

Paige sent Lenore back to Zen, this time without a response.

She tried clearing her mind of everything, to get some small amount of peace, but that face flashed infront of her vision again.

The blonde hair with the dark green eyes would haunt her.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:29 pm

((Progress, d00d!))

Zen sighed as Lenore came back without a note.

*Not yet, then.....*
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:36 pm

The brunette girl couldn't take it anymore. She'd held herself together for so long.

She was now falling apart at the seams.

Paige fell to her knees, tears rolling down her face. Her hands dug into the dirt as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"My stupidity....my idiocy." She whispered.

"My. Stupid. Choices." Her fist connected with the ground after each word and on the last one, she'd managed to hit a fairly large rock.

She felt no physical pain so it was unclear to her whether or not she'd broken anything in her hand.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, as if it would somehow make everything go away.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:45 pm

Zen watched with sadness and worry as Paige tried to beat a rock. When the moment was right, she would intervene.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:58 pm

Paige stayed where she was, the tears still trailing down her face.

"I.." She didn't know what she was going to say. She didn't know what to say.

"Stupid....so..idiotic." She whispered and punched the ground repeatedly.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:42 pm

Zen walked silently to Paige and pulled her into a hug.

"Paige....what is it?"
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:14 pm

The girl was surprised by the sudden contact but clutched onto Zen.

"I screwed up. I screwed up awfully." She whispered.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:17 pm

Zen hugged her tightly. "Tell me Paige....I want to help you. Just tell me. It can't be that bad."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:55 pm

"Zen...what could be worse than....killing a 5 year-old boy." She whispered.

The girl still held on to Zen, crying.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:57 pm

"Paige.....I'm so sorry.....it couldn't have been your fault," she whispered while stroking the girl's hair.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:03 pm

"Zen...it was. It was my fault. I can't stop seeing his face." Her shoulders shook as she cried.

"I screwed up."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:05 pm

Zen made calming noises. "Tell me what happened, Paige."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:27 pm

She took a deep breath. "It was a few years back..I was sent on a clan based mission with some of the higher level ninjas in my clan. I was the only one that hadn't been briefed on what the actual mission was. I wasn't told anything until we got there. I then found out that the mission was to kill the family of a man who had refused to accept terms of some sort with our clan elders."

She thought about how to continue.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:24 am

Minoushje stood in silence just listening to Paige's story. Killing was the worst part of being a ninja but also an unavoidable part.

Currently she was worried about Paige's injuries but she wouldn't step in and heal them until the girl had finished talking. It had taken her a while to finally let everything out, it be good for her.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:01 am

"It's okay, Paige, just keep going."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:09 pm

"Each member of the team had already chosen their target and I was left with the little boy. I didn't want to do it because he was so young and ... it's just unimaginable but.. when the others had finished and they saw that I hadn't...I was told that if I didn't complete my mission... that it'd be taken as betrayal to the clan and they'd say I'd gone rogue. The first thought that came to mind was to take the boy and run. I should've stuck with it..." She continued.

She stared at the ground, her fingers digging into the dirt.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:14 pm

Zen was silent for a moment.

"Then what happened?"
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:26 pm

"I don't know what happened...my first thought just flew out the window along with my morals and rationality. I only thought about myself and not wanting to be alone. So...I finished my mission and after it regestered what I'd done... I left. From then on all I can see when I close my eyes, is his face. His green eyes...his messy blonde hair and his terrified look. I can even hear him crying and telling me no. And proctecting Blue...it made me feel like if I couldn't do it...that it would be more blood on my hands." She finished.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:58 pm

Zen hugged Paige fiercely, fighting tears.

"I understand, Paige. I think any of us would do what you did. And you did protect Blue- and me.....I don't think any worse of you, Paige...."
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