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 Guilt, Regret and Thought.

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Zen | The Lawyer
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:00 pm

Zen's eyes were distant.

"Because there was a time in my life when I could have used someone like that."
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Paige| Cooky's Right Hand
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:02 pm

"What happened?" She asked.
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Zen | The Lawyer
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:04 pm

".....My dad was sick. My mom tried her best, but she couldn't do everything...."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:07 pm

"I'm sorry." She said.
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Zen | The Lawyer
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:09 pm

"Thanks...I just could have used someone who would be by my side."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:11 pm

"Makes sense....but that wasn't your fault...it just happened." She realized that she'd let some info slip and returned he gaze to the river.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:14 pm

Zen took a long look at Paige.

"What happened wasn't your fault either, was it?"
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:18 pm

Paige made no effort to answer. Better to just let Zen think what she wanted.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:24 pm

Zen rested her head against the tree.

"When you're ready....."
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Paige| Cooky's Right Hand
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:31 pm

Silence filled the air.

Paige would sit there until Zen fell asleep and then she'd head off.

Hours passed.

Zen finally fell asleep and Paige silently got up, heading off.

She walked for a while and then sensed a presence that she identified to be Nena.

She said nothing, just continued to walk.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:36 pm

Nena was leaning against a tree as Paige walked by. "Where are you going with such a long face?" She asked in a gentle tone.
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Paige| Cooky's Right Hand
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:38 pm

Silence was Nena's only answer.

The brunette continued to walk.

The less people knew, the better.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:40 pm

Nena walked after Paige, only a few feet behind. "Are you walking away from me or the question?" She asked.
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Paige| Cooky's Right Hand
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:42 pm

"Whos knows. It could be one, the other or even both." She voice was nothing above a whisper and was worn sounding.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:50 pm

Nena stopped. "Fine, don't talk. Just keep walking, run if you feel the need to. You can walk away from whatever it is as much as you want but at some point your feet will get tired and you'll fall." She called to her. "Don't let it get that far, Paige."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:54 pm

Paige stopped but didn't turn to Nena. "It's already gotten that far."

"It got that far a long time ago." Her voice was loud enough for Nena to hear.

She then turned. "Nena, what does it matter if I keep running away from it? It won't change anything? Just like it won't change anything if I tell someone. What difference would it make?"
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:03 pm

"It matters to you if you tell someone. If you keep running for it you're right: It won't change anything. You'll wake up with the same negative feelings and the same shame. Everything stays the same, time stays frozen because the memory is yours and yours alone to relive. You can't move on or even begin to get past it unless you try. I won't make you tell me anything you don't want to but that doesn't mean I won't try and help you."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:05 pm

"How? How could you help me?" He tone was harsh and she immediately regretted it when she saw the hurt in Nena's eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just... I can't let anyone else bear guilt that is mine to bear. It's my regret and it's unfair to others if they have to carry it."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:09 pm

"Paige . . ." Nena says while taking a few steps towards her. "It's eating at you, I can see it in your eyes. I see the bruises veiled beneath the surface. How do you think Zen feels? There comes guilt with the knowledge you can do nothing to help your friend, there comes guilt in knowing you are incapable of helping someone. It's when we voice our pain, when we share it with each other does those two guilts cancel each other out. You're scared you might hurt us but you're hurting yourself more than you know."
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Minoushje
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:43 am

Minoushje calmly walked up to Paige and Nena, she had been following Paige in silence... just keeping an eye on her.

She takes Nena's arm.
"Let's go Nena, Paige is old enough to make her own decisions. She's not going to tell us... Cooky tried, I did, Zen did and you. If that doesn't make it clear that she doesn't want to talk. Let her go."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:48 am

Zen watched as Mino and Nena talked in front of Paige. The breeze ruffled her hair softly as she listened to Mino's words. Were it any other person, she would agree and leave them be. But Paige was her closest friend here- and she had made a promise. She could wait.
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Minoushje
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:35 am

Minoushje turned to Zen and spoke to both girls in a whisper, making sure she spoke softly so Paige didn't hear her.
"Let her go for now, Cat is following her if she gets in danger I'll know in an instant. We're like a big family at the HMA, always protecting each other but we must learn when to leave someone alone."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:43 am

"I wish I could, Mino, I wish I could."

((Plus, I have it on her authority that persistance is what will bring out her story.))
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:46 am

Minoushje frowns and crosses her arms in front of her chest.
"Then how about the three of us follow her, making sure we keep enough distance of course."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:49 am

"I like that idea very much."

Zen checked her bag.

"I have enough supplies for all of us to go for a couple of days, so that's good."
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