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 Guilt, Regret and Thought.

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Paige| Cooky's Right Hand
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PostSubject: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:51 pm

'Stupid...stupid, idiotic....' Many thoughts went through the young girl's mind as she walked.

Sure, it'd been a few years. Sure she should've written it off like she did with the others. But... she just couldn't.

The guilt and regret ate at her.

She didn't know what people would think of her if they knew.

She was afraid. She'd finally found a place where she fit in and belonged. A place she could start from scratch.

She couldn't bear the thought of being shunned again. Of being... alone again.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:38 pm

Without warning, Cooky grabs Paige in a headlock, grinning like an utter 'tard as she noogies her right hand. "Paige-kun~!" She laughed, ignoring the protests and wriggling.

"What's with the depressed look, my cute little kohai? You can tell ol' Cooky; I won't tell anyone~!"
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:02 pm

Cooky had caught Paige by surprise but she hadn't faught against the noogieing (is that even a word?) that was inflicted upon her.

The brunette looked at her superior when Cooky said that she could tell her, but shook her head 'no' and continued walking.

"It's nothing you need to worry about Cooky-sama." The young girl's voice was so low it was almost in audible.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Thu Oct 01, 2009 9:35 pm

Cooky blinked as her kohai walked away, shoulder slumped. She raised an eyebrow, before shrugging and placing her hands behind her head. "Well... whatever. I can't force you to tell me. Just remember that it's always worse to bottle things up inside you, no matter how bad they are, 'kay?"

With that said, the VP walked away, waving her hand behind her back in a lazy goodbye. "I'm here when you're ready to talk, Paige-kun~"

((The word noogying / noogieing ALWAYS pisses me and Roy off. We never know which one is right. xD))
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:31 am

"Ah there you are." Minoushje says as she jumps down from a tree. "You left all of a sudden... you really shouldn't be going on a journey now, you're still recovering." When she saw Paige's face she got worried. "Is everything alright?"
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Fri Oct 02, 2009 3:00 pm

Paige aknowledged Cooky with a nod before continuing to walk.

Minoshouje was then infront of her and she looked up.

"I'm just walking and....thinking." She said calmly.

She then stepped around Minoshoule and continued on.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:19 am

"Paige..." Minoushje said as she grabbed the girl's wrist. "...don't do anything stupid, 'kay?"

She had said it with a smile, hoping she made clear she was just worried about her.

"And if I can help with anything, just let me know."
Sometimes it was best to give people there time alone.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:41 am

Paige nodded to Minoshouje, not bothering to even force a smile because it was obvious that Mino knew something was wrong.

When Minoshouje let go of her wrist, the brown-eyed girl continued walking, not one word leaving her mouth.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 1:57 pm

Paige walked silently.

She passed the river, not stopping to look at it's sparkling waters. She tuned out the beautiful singing of the birds.

She saw, heard and felt nothing right now. What she did feel was just guilt and regret.

She couldn't get that face out of her head. But, did she really want to? No. It was a reminder of her screw up.

She walked, not stopping and not caring where the hell she was headed.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:18 pm

Paige didn't realize she was passing the river Zen was leaving.

Suddenly, the older girl stopped in front of Paige.

"Paige-chan. You need to talk to one of us. We know something's wrong- there has been since that battle with Sasori. I let it go at the time, but I can't now. Please tell me what's wrong." Her face was full of concern.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:27 pm

Paige looked at Zen, nothing what-so-ever written in her features.

She just stepped around Zen, saying nothing, and continued on her silent journey to nowhere.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:36 pm

"Oi!"

Both Zen and Lenore flew at Paige.

"You're not getting off that easily. Friends tell each other their problems. Unless you're trying to say that our friendship isn't real."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:41 pm

Paige stopped and turned to Zen, confusion and fear in her eyes that she didn't bother hiding. "Zen...please don't say that... please...."

The girl couldn't take that, she was already having a hard time holding herself together.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:50 pm

Zen regretted the harshness of her words, but she needed to know.

She took Paige's hand in her own and looked into the girl's eyes. What she saw there was painful to see.

"Look....I know you don't want to talk about whatever it is that's bothering you, but you need to. When you hold things back like that....it can hurt you." She smiled bitterly. "Take it from someone who knows."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:55 pm

Paige looked at her friend.

She felt a tightness in her chest as she said her next words.

"I can't... I have to deal with it alone..that's how I can make it right." He voice was almost inaudiable and it wasn't soft like normal it was more... strained as if she hadn't used it in a while.


She pulled her hand away from Zen's, softly.

Turning and continuing on in silence was hard for her but it needed to be done.

It was no one else's guilt and regret to bear but her own.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:02 pm

Zen watched her go sadly. She didn't know what it was that Paige was struggling with, but she did know that she wanted her friend to find peace- by any means possible. "Good luck," she whispered gently.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:38 pm

Paige heard the 'Good luck' from Zen.

'I only wish' Was her thought.

She walked for god only knows how long, until she finally sat down under a tree by the river.

She didn't really see the sparkling water as it flowed by.

Her knees were pulled to her chest, arms wrapped around them and herself in a way that seemed if she let go she'd fall into a billion pieces.

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

"It's my fault." She repeated the words to herself over and over again.

"It's my fault..."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:54 pm

Zen dropped down gently from the tree and sat beside her friend.

Seeing Paige's shocked expression, she laughed softly.

"Lenore followed you and led me to you. I was thinking....you may not be ready to talk, but perhaps you'd like some company on your journey?"

Zen was dressed in traveling gear and had a sack of supplies swung over her shoulder.

"We can go until you've found respite or are ready to talk...whichever comes first."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 4:01 pm

"Zen...neither is going to happen." She said a flat, uncharacteristic tone.

She then went silent again, still in the same position as before.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 4:04 pm

Zen sat down stubbornly beside Paige. "Well then I guess we'll both just sit here until we rot."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 4:10 pm

Paige didn't move and she remained silent.

It was hard enough to hold herself together but she needed to be strong especially infront of Zen.

She couldn't let Zen see her a weak and helpless.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 4:16 pm

Zen crossed her legs and folded her arms.

"I'm not leaving, so you can drop any pretenses of stoicism."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 5:25 pm

Her eyes didn't move from the water. "Why Zen? Why does it matter if I say anything or not?"

Paige's voice had that same tone from before, not soft, worn and strained.
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 5:56 pm

"......"

Zen thought for a moment.

Finally, she said softly, "Because everyone needs someone on whom they can count. And I, Paige, am going to be there for you. So I'll wait until you are ready, but I am not leaving. If you move, I follow."
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PostSubject: Re: Guilt, Regret and Thought.   Sat Oct 03, 2009 5:58 pm

"You aren't obliged to." She answered.

"Why do you choose to?" Was her question.
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